Man in Power Promises to Promise More Promises to Get Re-Elected

While on the campaign trail for a recently concluded parliamentary by-election, a high-ranking man in the national government boggled the minds of residents by outlining his major re-election strategy for the impending general elections as “an elaborate plot to promise more robust promises than I have ever promised before, both in quality and quantity.” Donning a trademark cap lined with national colours, the man said his government was in the process of finalizing on a manifesto containing a fresh set of promises for the next election cycle. Despite the reality that most of his past promises are yet to be acted upon, almost two-thirds into the man’s tenure, said man is convinced that the new manifesto will “speedily solve all the problems our country is facing.”

“We have already drafted promises on insecurity, food insecurity, joblessness and bad roads into the promise document…and I can assure you I am a man of my promises,” the man vowed to the crowd and the many cameras present.

Habare’s attempts to reach the man to inquire on any action made on the delivery of his earlier barrage of promises was met with curt derision: “Can you say we haven’t met the promise to deliver more promises? What more do you want, unless you just want to talk more to earn bonus airtime in which case I am not the right person to call. I have places to be, people to see and promises to make!”

-Mharere Mkare

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